Parenthood: Zero Stars

Parenthood: zero stars. Would do it again.

Have you ever started an IKEA project, had the instructions in front of you, and still had no idea what the fuck you were doing?

Welcome to parenthood.

Let me be the first to say — I’m definitely not someone who goes into things blindly, but I’m also not a deep diver. I look into things just enough to know what I’m getting into without completely ruining the surprise.

I come from a fairly large family. Kids were (and still are) popping out almost yearly. I grew up helping with babies. By the time I was 15, I thought I knew a lot about them. But let me tell you — having your own kids is a completely different experience.

I knew I wanted to be a mom from a very young age. Eighteen-year-old Daniela had her whole life planned out: married at 21, first child at 22 or 23, three kids by 28 (HAA). Life has a funny way of punching you straight in the face.

In the end, though, everything happened exactly how it should have. I ended an almost 10-year relationship (gaslighting, son of a bitch, cheater — for context clues) and fell in love with one of my best friends. We got married at 30 and had my baby boy at 32.

Then came the research.

What type of birth do I want? Should we take baby prep classes? What are the best bottles — plastic or glass?Surprise! There are apparently a million other types in between. Which brand of diapers is best? How often do we change a diaper? How often should I breastfeed? When do I pump? Which pump is best? What should his sleep schedule look like?

God, the list goes on and on.

Both my husband and I read self-help books about becoming parents. And I’m here to tell you — no matter how much you prepare, it’s likely not going to go the way you planned.

Parenting is different for everyone. For some, it comes naturally. For others, it’s trial and error. Some people get easy babies (trust me, it’s a thing). Others do everything “by the book” and still can’t get their kid to stick to a sleep schedule.

You’ll have friends who give advice to help guide you. You’ll also have friends who push you to try things your mama heart knows doesn’t feel right.

Everyone will give you their thoughts, opinions, and judgments.

Let them.

Take it all in and do with it what you want.

I think my least favorite comment we received was some sarcastic version of, “Your life’s never going to be the same.”

Honestly? Fuck those people.

Of course your life won’t be the same. You’re bringing a whole-ass human being into the world. What a stupid thing to say.

Yes — it’s hard. It’s tiring.It’s relentless. But it’s also absolutely beautiful.

You get to raise this tiny human who is half you and half the person you chose to love for the rest of your life. You get to guide them into being a better person than you ever were or are. And along the way, you learn so much about yourself.

There are parts of you that you love.There are parts you want to change.There are hidden traumas that come out of nowhere.

And somehow, this little human ends up turning you into a better person.

My biggest advice to anyone becoming a new parent: do what feels right in your gut.

People will try to influence you into buying the fanciest things, following the craziest trends, and judging you for not doing it their way.

Let them think what they want.

As long as your little family is happy, nothing else matters.

So, long story short, this space is going to be mostly me venting about parenting — and somewhere in between that, relationships and life.

You get to follow me on my ever-learning parenting experience. I hope you enjoy the ride!

XOXO: Your new mom friend